This, being performance and bonus time, you may have been given feedback about your “leadership”, “teamwork” and “people” skills. And of course, you are committed to make big changes in 2007. Many executives believe that 360 and management feedback given to smart, capable and ambitious individuals results in desired change. Would that it were so simple.

Have you ever watched a baby learning a new skill? At first s/he demonstrates random movements. Getting a pleasurable result (making a parent smile, hearing a noise, setting something in motion, grabbing a toy, tasting something sweet, getting praised) results in repetition and eventually a new habit. It takes time, trial and error, and reinforcement, to create a new behavior. Yet, so many adults think they will learn to lead, change perceptions of themselves, develop new people skills just as a result of getting feedback. It does not happen.

An article in Fortune entitled Five Levels of Greatness last October outlines the stages required for developing new behaviors.

To take that model a little further, I recently created a Leadership Development Process tool (download here) for my clients mainly in response to unrealistic expectations for leadership development coaching. Many of my clients, having been successful in turning around businesses, executing strategy, and displaying complex professional expertise believe that learning to lead well is simply executed based on data. But, the truth is that, even when we are all grown up, every new skill starts with awareness and then moves through a set of developmental steps to eventually become habit.

So, congratulate yourself on having achieved the first stage. Then, provide yourself with the input, reinforcement mechanisms and patience you will need to convert the data to a deliverable!

One of the worst parts of job search is to be in a “wait” situation.

Joanne Lublin’s article, “How to Cope When a Would-Be Employer Takes Forever to Hire”, in the December 5, 2006 Wall Street Journal got me thinking about additional ways job seekers can manage this potentially frustrating experience. Here are 5 strategies to consider:

1. Gain agreement from the prospective employer about follow up and place yourself in control by suggesting a time/date for you to give them a call. Then, initiate other opportunities even if you continue to be interested in the position you are waiting to hear about. Creating multiple opportunities to pursue diminishes the frustration.

2. Follow up and ask for a meeting to review your candidacy. Get some information about what is causing the long duration. For example, consider these alternatives:

• Are they interviewing new candidates (in which case they may not be “sold” on you),
• Do they need more information about you (find out what they need to know to make you an offer) Are they re-considering the position (ask what changes they are thinking about).
• Are they re-directing the business (learn a little more if possible about their plans/strategy)?
• Are there be some other management changes which may be confidential and they may not share with you (in which case, do more research and networking to unearth causes if possible).
• Is there an incumbent (ask what is the status with this person’s future)?

Based on the causation, make your own plans, offer additional information, consider how long you are interested in/willing to wait for a resolution and create mental deadlines for yourself so that the limbo does not go on beyond your comfort level.

3. Many organizations put out searches that then do not get completed because the role has not been clearly defined against strategy, the manager is not sure what kind of person s/he wants to hire, the company is just “fishing for talent” and then decides to re-organize or hire internally, or because business needs or circumstances change mid stream. Search consultants and internal talent management professionals are sometimes not in the loop about these changes and continue encouraging a candidate. Sometimes your network can give you valuable information about what is really going on.

4. The challenge of a long search is that once you are in play or think another opportunity could be of interest, your focus on your present position might suffer. There is a tendency to fantasize about the new potential position and make decisions in your mind when there is not yet an offer on the table. The longer you wait, the unhappy you can become with your current job. If this starts to happen, use the opportunity presented to you as a spring board to re-invest in your work or launch a full scale search for another job. Otherwise you can invest too much in vacant hope and then be very demoralized if the job does not materialize.

5. Find a clever way to follow up: Once when I was in a protracted interview process, the conversations stalled for several months because of a very confidential management change that I did not know about. During this time I was interviewed for a magazine article and I recommended that the writer contact the president of the company for a quote since I knew he would have interesting things to say. When the article was published, I sent a copy to him with a note saying “looks like we belong together!” He immediately called, said he was sorry that our discussions had stopped. We re-opened up our discussions, and I was made an offer.

We connect and are connected constantly. But now there are increasingly serious consequences. Emails written in haste, while at meetings, on the fly, with half-attention, or in anger are epidemic. Workers and executives are finding themselves having to double back, explain, un-do or make up for mis-understandings, inadvertently “reply all or forwarded missives, blind copied messages that break trust, and blown out of proportion emotional reactions. Much time and emotional energy is being spent on what should be a time saver.

The convenience of mobile devises has shifted into a conundrum. Being constantly on hand and accessible sets expectations of immediate response and instant action. And it builds on itself. Work stress increases, productivity and effectiveness decrease when people never let up, never let down, never let go.
Now, according to The Independent, there is an unintended–but perhaps not unexpected–consequence of our “Crackberry” addiction: legal exposure for organizations. It seems that mobile email devises which place pressures on employees beyond regular working hours can interfere with fair labor practices….or even could be considered grounds for divorce!

No one wants to be disconnected. Perhaps, though, we have let this get out of hand.

Test yourself:

When are you not checking emails?

What happens if you don’t?

How much time during the day do you spend just thinking….daydreaming?

When you read an email, how much time goes by before you respond? Do you re-read and consider the recipient’s reaction before hitting send?
How are your relationships? When was the last time you got out of your chair to personally speak with a colleague…or even picked up the phone?

Do you suffer from split attention because your mobile devise is beeping or vibrating while you are at meetings? Or at home?

How early in the morning and late at night do you check your devise?

If you think you are not addicted, put the thing away for an hour and monitor your reactions. Do you worry that you will miss something? Do you think…”oh, I’ll just check this once?”

What would happen if you disconnected?

Like many addictions, remote emailing starts off feeling good; it is a convenience, gives you a sense of power and accomplishment. Then, it starts to have power over you. At some point we all must make our own decisions about being connected. If you are checking constantly, you may be losing the very connections you are trying to preserve.

Let me hear from you.

Did you have a good day? How much effect do you think you have on what you, your team, your company achieves…and how people feel about it?

During this very hot weather, fatigue and frustration has reigned. We have all seen people dragging themselves into work, slogging through the day, snapping at each other. We each have struggled with the heat and transportation complexities. And, after a day being surrounded by other beaten down people, our energy is further sapped. It actually takes more energy to overcome a negative experience than to respond to a positive one.

In her recent article, Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Desk, Wharton Professor Nancy Rothbard makes a compelling case for the effect of mood on workplace productivity.

Seems so obvious, doesn’t it? We spend countless hours reacting to, decoding, talking about and working around our own and other’s moods. Then we go home and complain about, or even worse, dump these moods into our personal time.

And yet, we would all agree that checking and adjusting disposition is not a typical daily, conscious habit. At the Executive level, mood subtleties create not a ripple effect but a rip tide effect. Executive vibes are observed, reflected and resound in employees’ own moods and behaviors.

When we debrief the interviews I have conducted–either in preparation for a team off site or for 360 degree reports–my clients have been consistently surprised by the impact that their mood has on the work product. Such subtle behaviors as vocal pace and volume, stride, and facial expressions are observed, absorbed and reverberate beyond the leader’s awareness and expectations. Style, attitude and actions can have a major effect on how staff and colleagues operate.
In conducting interviews I hear things about leaders like:

“He is always preoccupied, unavailable, short tempered and so we are afraid to suggest ways to improve things around here.”

“He must be very insecure and nervous, so we are afraid to take risks.”

“She never just stops by my desk to see how I am doing…everything is late night email and voice mail. I know she is very busy and overworked, but I don’t get the feeling she cares about me and my career.”

“No matter what’s going on in his private life or the amount of pressure he is under, he is always calm, encouraging, and responsive. I’d go through a wall for my boss!”

I have facilitated a number of meetings in which the leader’s mood clearly sets the pace. In one meeting, the senior executive who normally has a great deal of energy and passion was very subdued, spoke softly, slowly and with very little energy. While her team started out attentive, within a brief two minutes, they slouched in their seats, started to look down at papers or blackberries and lost energy. Afterward, the executive blamed her reports for not caring about the issues discussed. What actually happened here, however, was that the leader’s mood was contagious: her low energy was modeled by her team.

Alternately, I worked with a leader who, despite a heavy travel schedule and a very challenging quarter, consciously made up his mind to display optimism and vision during a critical staff meeting. From pre-meeting interviews we learned that the team experienced him as defeated and exhausted. We talked together prior to the meeting about the atmosphere he needed to create to win the hearts and minds of his team and to instill optimism. He succeeded in moving them from despair and discouragement to a dynamic action plan by showing spirit and excitement about the possibilities. His high energy and positive attitude caught on. The team engaged in a dynamic action plan and volunteered for challenging assignments.

Create the results YOU want. There is a very simple exercise. I call it “Show Time”. Here’s how it works:

Think of yourself as a performer. When you step onto your “stage” or enter your workplace, consider what mood you want to portray and therefore create in your “audience”, or colleagues and staff. Try it. You will see a positive result in those around you…and because mood is contagious, you will find that the positive atmosphere you create bounces back to you as well.

Let me know what you think. Make it a great day!

Recently, a number of high powered women I have consulted me about how to get a seat at the table. Helpful and realistic advice seemed illusive. So, I interviewed a number of savvy and successful people to get the most up to date advice on gaining access to executive committee and board appointments. In light of the article Glass Ceiling? Get a Hammer in the New York Times, June 12th, clearly this issue has both importance and relevance.
You are invited to download the resulting complimentary White Paper, Women at the Table here.

Your comments, additions and reactions are always welcome.

When I was doing public service work, I noticed that the most powerful members of the community were those who helped others get employment. They made friends of the employer and of the job seeker by being receptive and thoughtful about creating a match. They also felt good about helping. In that spirit, several years ago I wrote an article, Networking Quid Pro Quo which details the benefits to the recipient of networking. Please download it, gratis.
It certainly is annoying to be approached by an unfocused job seeker, a contact or stranger with a (not so) hidden agenda, or people who think of you as their new best friend when they don’t know you or, worse, have blown you off in the past. However, if you transcend these awkward advances and try to be of service, you will most likely make an ally for life.

Some tips for building an ally out of a request:

1. Welcome the call by being friendly and interested. You don’t have to know of or have a job to offer to be of service. Engage in a dialogue about the caller’s interests, needs, goals, and background.

2. Manage expectations by shifting the conversation to something you can realistically do for the individual, such as advise on their resume, help them consider alternative career paths, give them information about an industry or companies, serve as a sounding board as they begin to unearth opportunities.

3. Resist the temptation to offer to “pass” the caller’s resume around or keep it in case you “hear of something” because it raises expectations that you will actually become their (unpaid) headhunter and may place you in a position of repeat calls asking you if you have heard of a job. This is irritating for you and hurtful to the job seeker.

4. Help callers to be focused and productive by giving honest feedback on their self-presentation or their marketing plan, and help them to expand their ideas with your perspectives on the market or their field of interest.

5. If asked for additional contacts, be thoughtful and strategic about referrals. Offer names of people who you really think will add to the job seekers’ ability to move their job search along. It is always helpful to provide some background about the referral which helps job seekers to be effective. Personally setting up the connection keeps you in the loop and gives you an opportunity to be in touch with your contacts, as well.

As always, I am interested in your own thoughts and tips,

Sheryl

P.S. As an update on those quoted in the article:

Marianne Ruggiero now has a thriving consulting practice, Optima Careers
Alan Pickman works for Lee Hecht Harrison
Fredie Gamble is now traveling the world

Networking is not working! It is painful for the majority of networkers and annoying for a large number of recipients. After all, what we call “networking” is a manufactured process based on a tradition in which “old boys” established a mutually beneficial support system (or network of peers, mentors and sponsors) founded on relationship, reputation and reciprocity. Now that we have turned the noun into a verb, many networkers have turned what was once a fulfilling way of living into just one more “should” that is neither appreciated, comfortable nor desired. Many feel compelled to dip in and out of the networking command performance based on current work stability, satisfaction, and situations. We network when we need to, when we have to, when we should. This episodic effort can look like this:

An email arrives in your in-box from a long-ago acquaintance who never really established a relationship with you and whom you remember did not return your last three phone calls, blew you off for lunch, never did business with you. The email is accompanied by an attached (very long and unedited/unfocused) resume. The body of the email states that the writer is in the process of “putting a few feelers” out and, based on a mutual “friend’s” suggestion, is writing to you for advice and information. The email ends with “I look forward to speaking with you”. Have you written one of these lately? Are you a recipient? This may be networking….but it certainly is not a way to build, nurture or expand relationships.

Recently I attended an ACPI conference where Larry Stybel presented a very thought provoking concept which can be found in his article, “Friend, Foe, Ally, Adversary….or Something Else?” He suggests that there are four types of relationships, two of which are constant (friends and enemies) and two which are conditional or changing (allies and adversaries). A friend would respond to any request from you because of the nature of the relationship (unconditional, long term, close, mutual, loyal, deeply connected) while an enemy would rebuff or even undermine you. Others (allies and adversaries) will be helpful or not depending on the level of their own self interest or benefit to them. Thus, if you are contacting friends, you can be assured that they will come through, no matter what, if it is within their power to help. However, since most of the people you know are conditional relationships, you need to recognize that these contacts need to be helped to help you and they need to see that responding to you will in some way help them (either now or in the future).
Based on Larry’s ideas, think about your relationships. Fears of rejection (the main objection to networking) disappear when you think of investing in your allies through give and take, ongoing contact, reciprocity. Make a habit of staying in touch. Show interest and curiosity about your field, a desire to inform, nurture and expand relationships based on mutual benefit. If you are reconnecting with people who have been out of touch, first work on establishing a connection through offering them something or, at least, giving them a reason or purpose to be interested in you.

Build them before you expect them to come to your aid! Manage your expectations to match the realities of the relationships. Be considerate of your contacts. Prepare well for your outreach. If you are in a job change process, scrap the open-ended approach: be targeted, specific and realistic. Before you make the call or write that note/e-mail, ask yourself:
1. What is your history with this individual? Where does s/he fit into your world?
2. What is the true nature of your relationship? A friend will do anything for you, no questions asked. Anyone else needs to be informed, nurtured, and developed into an ally.
3. What does your contact know about you? What does s/he need to know?
4. What, specifically, are your expectations about what your contact can/wants to do for you?
5. Knowing that the likelihood of your contact knowing/having a job for you right now is very low, what is the purpose of your reaching out to him/her?
6. How do you wish to be thought of? Do you want sympathy or support?
7. Be clear about what you are asking for: are you just starting and need focus, know what you are looking for and need to expand your information, exploring options, selecting among alternatives?
8. What can you offer your contact which will help him/her?

To learn more about these elements of relationship management, you are invited to download a complimentary Enduring Allies Tip Sheet

Remember the whole controversy that occurred around the Fast Company article, Why We Hate HR? If you missed it, forgot about it…or have repressed it…you can find the link in my August 4 2005 entry. At that time, I suggested that HR may need to do a better job of marketing itself. Well, something seems to be working!

I have received an overwhelming response to my recent blogs regarding managing stress and workflow in today’s productivity driven workplace, particularly from my Human Resources friends and clients. This seems to be a predominant theme for many organizations and individuals today. And Human Resources is challenged to keep leaders focused on: how to inspire innovation during uncertain times, communicate and gain alignment against quickly shifting business strategy and assure employee motivation and engagement during business and management change.

The good news is that from what I see, hear and read, the HR profession is increasingly and actively anticipating, consulting and creating unique solutions….what one of my colleagues at an HRPS meeting called “promising practices” (in contrast to “best practices”).

And….there appears to be some recognition of this HR Leadership. Fast Company’s Editor Keith Hammonds’, the author of the controversial article on “Why We Hate HR?”is purported to have revised some of his opinions and is going to be on a webcast on April 11 at 11:30 discussing his views regarding how HR, a largely untapped resource, can leverage itself. Tune in if you can break away from your overwhelming work demands to listen!

Another find: Kenny Moore. Take some time to hear his recent speech, or read his article, What Do You Want to be Caught Dead Doing? And pick up a copy of his book, The CEO and the Monk. His iconoclastic and refreshing approach is inspirational!

You are invited to post some of your observations and “promising practices” for others to share. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Are you overwhelmed by overload?
Despite all your time-management and list making, do you find yourself in a constant crisis response mode?
Is your mind weighed down by piles of projects, constant email alerts, and interruptions?
When you are not listening to the endless internal task master inside your head does the constant drone of others’ demands drown out your ability to focus?

You are clearly not alone.

Nearly everyone I work with is looking for respite from the pressures of productivity. Recent articles in the news inform us about the dangers of being in a constant state of high alert resulting from urgency addiction and multi tasking. Reuters reported a study indicating that Americans are working more and accomplishing less. Sue Shellenbarger noted last week in the Wall Street Journal’s “Work and Family Mailbox” that anxiety and perhaps even emotional depression can result from too much multitasking and fatigue. When your mind and body are constantly overstressed, hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol go into overdrive.

Sometimes, as with the injured conductor James Levine, a scheduled several month sabbatical presents the opportunity to create life-changing improvements. For those of us who wish to avoid such dire situations, there are numerous blogs and books offering methods to lighten up while achieving. While no one “system” is appropriate or sufficient for all situations, combining ideas and tools can help to lighten your load.

Recently, I listened to Getting It Done, by David Allen and then checked out his web site. Allen recommends expanding on goal setting through a process which involves an entire work-flow/life planning overhaul. He emphasizes the importance of a system to tear through all of the massive tasks and projects that clutter your desk and your mind. Allen’s technique is that people identify the “next action” for everything in their “in box”, organize stuff in project files and lists to be reviewed regularly, and do anything immediately that will take two minutes or less. It is very satisfying to get through those nagging tasks. However, I think that the risk in Allen’s system is that if you do everything in your in-box that takes two minutes right away, you can eat up a whole day with small tasks, eliminating the time to work on your long term initiatives and commitments. Unaddressed projects and goals will then hang over your head exacerbating stress–not to mention limiting your career.

In contrast to David Allen, Steven Shapiro, author of Goal-Free Living has posited a very interesting concept that questions our goal setting preoccupied culture. See whether you are a “Goalaholic” by taking his quiz . His idea is that rigid goals often limit creativity, exploration and innovation because goal related stress interferes with a willingness to open up to new ideas, to explore and feel flow in our work/lives. Rather, he suggests that people articulate their thematic passions and question goals that are not self-generated. Living for and measuring yourself against achieving a future goal, according to Shapiro, is not only stressful, but limits your potential. His blog is worth investigating.

I’ve summarized my favorite lighten up tips here:

1. Start with a clean sweep. Spring is a great time to get rid of all of those unattended projects, piles and visual distractions that weigh heavily on your mind every time you see them.

2. Don’t start your day in overload: Plan your days in advance and include time to handle unexpected demands, interruptions and crises. Build in flexibility, recovery and think time.

3. Spend 10 minutes each evening or morning to organize your workspace, review and revise your schedule and file away extraneous papers.

4. Evaluate the “incoming and “add on’s” to your plan rather than just doing everything that presents itself. If you have to add something, trade off something else.

5. Examine your own expectations and other’s demands. You cannot function in constant triage with impunity.

6. Avoid unnecessary interruptions. Plan to read email at three designated times during the day, and respond only to what is urgent. Register interruptions, your own mind memos and others’ requests in your to do or task list and then commit to a time to address them when you can properly focus.

7. Commit to sufficient time to think through and complete tasks without interruption.

8. Plan some down/fun/relaxation/reflection time every day. Even a short break will help you lighten up!

Please share your tips and comment!