By now, the holiday and year end rush are over and whether you have taken a vacation or not, you are probably in full swing at work, executing your 2006 strategy. And, like many of my clients, you may be finding yourself feeling that you have already lost sight of all of those New Year’s resolutions to have more balance, socialize/network more, do something with a personal interest/creative talent. Are you energized….or do you find yourself depleted at the end of the day? Are you in charge….or has “life” taken over?

I have just finished re-reading a wonderful book, The Path of Least Resistance, Learning to Become the Creative Force in Your Own Life, by Robert Fritz (1984) which reminded me how very important it is to create a vision of what we want rather than responding to or reacting against life’s circumstances. Too often we find ourselves just getting through the day…putting out fires, resenting interruptions and obligations, operating on “automatic” and losing sight of those projects and commitments we made to our organizations and ourselves. What happens is that driving innovation, initiative, creativity, and engagement suffer.

With so much going on, the first indicator that you may be scattered is your ability to focus, carry through with plans, prioritize and execute. So, take a moment to assess yourself with this fun activity:

Colortest http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.htm

Whether you are leading a team or are an individual contributor working on a new initiative, you know how strong a role talent and desire plays in building results. When you are fully engaged in an activity, utilizing your strengths (talents and interests combined) the day seems to float by and your work seems effortless. A recent Fast Company article reminds us of the research behind this phenomenon:

Working in Flow

Each of us has a unique purpose, a unique world view that is bursting to emerge. If we ignore it in the interest of getting “stuff” done, we eventually undermine the outcome with disappointment and resentment. As Martha Graham reminds us:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”

So, here three ideas to consider as you plan (yes…plan rather than slog) through your days ahead:

1. At the beginning of each week, think about what you want to accomplish both professionally and personally. Make sure as you look at your calendar that you have actually built in time for a creative project, a nurturing friendship/family experience, some quiet time to restore yourself. Make these plans manageable. I actually color code my calendar to assure that I have integrated respite with responsibility.
2. Assess at the end of each day whether you have been able to meet your own goals, analyze what worked and what got in the way. Adjust your expectations in line with realities. If an unexpected event or project intervened, make sure you adapt your schedule to accommodate realistic goals and promises.
3. Examine the gaps between the way you wanted to spend your time and what you actually did. Where did you accomplish your goals and where did you get derailed?

Let me know how you are doing!

Sheryl

Suddenly, the weather is frightful and it almost seems like a cruel joke that we are pressured all at once with holiday preparations, on top of year-end demands and having to pile on more layers of clothing all at the same time! Understandably, multi-tasking and “tyranny of the shoulds” abound.

Overwhelmed and unfocused?

There is no way to avoid stress at this time of year, but here are some of my ideas for managing it:

TEN TIPS FOR DEALING WITH STRESSFUL INCIDENTS, by Sheryl Spanier

1. Ask yourself: “What’s actually bothering me?” Then, investigate further. If you are feeling threatened, distrustful or imposed upon, look for an underlying fear. If you are anxious, see if there is some unconscious hurt or anger. What do you think you might lose?

2. Consider whether this is an isolated incident or a pattern of incidents. If it is isolated, or a one time event, you might be interested in delaying a response/reaction until you gain more information. If it is a repetitive issue, what do you think the pattern means? Has this happened with other individuals/situations, or does it tend to reoccur only with this person/condition?

3. Is this historical or grounded in the present? Does the stressful condition bring up memories or feelings of past, similar experiences? Are you having more difficulty dealing with it because of emotions or relationships which are unresolved from prior times?

4. Examine your expectations. Did you anticipate or expect a different reaction/action/or response? Is your expectation realistic considering the people/conditions?

5. Consider what you want to have happen. Is there anything you can do to create this preferred outcome? What would be the consequences to your taking this action? Are you willing to accept those consequences?

6. Go to the mat with yourself about what/whom you are trying to control. Investigate whether it is possible/useful to do so. Trying to control/change someone else’s attitude/behavior/feelings is usually a vacant effort. What can you change/control/accept in yourself?

7. Create an intellectual separation between the incident, your feelings and a reaction. Disengage from your desire to make something happen. Decide whether you want to fight this battle. Ask yourself, “is this worth doing anything about?” What if you do nothing? Sometimes a little creative procrastination saves a lot of future work or fix up efforts.

8. Apply the WIM test: Will it Matter in Matter in 24 seconds, 24 minutes, 24 hours? If you can delay a response/reaction for a day, sleep on it. To prepare for this wait, you can write a letter to save and review, make a list of action steps you can take, research your potential resources and support systems. Review these lists after 24 hours and consider other options before acting.

9. Ask a confidente/coach/mentor for his/her perspectives on your planned response/action. Listen and be open to the advice.

10. Identify one small step which will make a small change. Then, based on the result, build, shift gears, change direction.

Some practical help is available on the web, as well.

A major stressor for many of us is working our way through endless voice mail cues when we want to ask a simple question or resolve a problem that is not on the pre-defined menue. Trying to speak to a REAL person to resolve a bill or order a product? Here is a site that will help you bypass the system and connect:

Try the IVR Cheat Sheet by Paul English.

And try these sites for some stress relief tools:

http://www.coping.org/growth/stress.htm

http://isis.fastmail.usf.edu/counsel/SELF-HLP/stress_red.htm

Wishing you Peaceful and Happy Holidays!

Sheryl

It seems that clothing is on everyone’s mind right now. Fashion week dominated New York City’s midtown last week, fall magazines are filled with the latest fashions, the Wall Street Journal’s Carol Hymowitz’s article “In The Lead” featured opinions about attire and leadership effectiveness, and a recent article in Fast Company The CEO’s New Clothes by Linda Tischler, wonders whether current Aquarian leadership styles will be just passing trends or long-time standards.

All of this discussion about style reminds me of my grandmother’s housedress. Nana Stella was a true woman of her generation. She wore a baggy, colorless smock almost all the time. I remember my grandfather sitting in his chair, smoking a cigar and watching his sports shows on TV, never even noticing her as she emptied the ashtray, fed him, cleaned up after him. One day we were all going to a restaurant and Nana changed to a navy blue dress, did her hair and put on rouge for the occasion. What a difference: Grandpa suddenly noticed her, stood up and waltzed with her around the room.

Many executives wonder why no one is noticing them, why they are losing their edge…or why they are relegated to unremarkable careers, overlooked for promotions, or sidelined or misunderstood. One reason could be that they suffer from the “grandmother’s housedress syndrome”. Too many leaders stop paying attention to the way they come across, to how they comport themselves, forget to display courtesies or to demonstrate a confident, modern, stylish presence. They become comfortable at “home” in their workplaces.

Take a good look at your style today:

1. Notice how dynamic and respected leaders in your organization comport themselves, communicate and yes, dress. Are you reflecting the current style?

2. Look at your office. Does it demonstrate the brand you wish it to? If the CEO walked into your office today, what impression would s/he get?

3. Are you conscious about how you treat others? Are you positive, constructive, interactive, engaging? Are you included in important meetings and considered a “go to” person for your area of expertise?

4. Are you getting the results you want? Are you conscious of your leadership attitude, attributes and attire? Have you looked in the mirror lately and asked for feedback?

If your responses lead you to thinking about refreshing your own leadership image, it is probably time for you to think about ways to be more crisp, more present, more communicative….more positively noticable. Get dressed up and go out to lunch!

Recently, on a summer Friday at 6:30 an exhausted client, who was returning my call of Monday, said: “Someone did not get the memo about summer.”

It seems that easy summer living is a thing of the past. And, as with any unmet expectation, the disappointment has an impact beyond the actual reality.

Missing a restful, relaxing and fun summer seems to be standard now. In the Wall Street Journal, August 10th, there was a striking article called “How to Avoid Taking a Vacation So Good It Hurts to Come Back,” in which Jared Sandberg takes the issue even further. He notes that people who want take time off need to plan to avoid the pre-vacation intensity and post-vacation depression. So, one may ask, why bother?

Read the recent Families and Work Institute Study, “Overwork in America: When the Way We Work Becomes Too Much”

- Download free Executive Summary (640KB)

- How overworked are you? Take the quiz.

The researchers note that at least 1/3 of Americans report that they are overwhelmed and overworked, yet are unable to or afraid to take necessary time off.

Another recent related article you may find of interest is:

How Too Many Long Hours Can Be Bad for Your Career, by Hunkar Ozyasar http://www.careerjournal.com/columnists/perspective/20050623-fmp.html?cjpos=columnists_whatsnew

So, for those of you who are stressing post and pre, or in spite of having a vacation, here are five tips for taking mini-vacations that will give you a little taste of what summer used to mean. You may want to keep these in mind during the winter as well.

1. Every hour or two, take a 5 minute meditation break. You don’t have to get into a lotus position or even chant “om”. Merely clear your mind and focus on your breathing, an image of the ocean wafting in and out, or picture in your mind of your favorite vacation memory. To get some help with meditation techniques try: http://www.learningmeditation.com. There is even a chime reminder you can download: http://www.mindfulnessdc.org/mindfulclock.html

2. Take one afternoon off and go to the park, the movies, a pool, a museum, catch a matinee. Do not take work with you… turn off your cell phone, Treo or Blackberry. You can plan for this time or just take off. You will be surprised how refreshed you are the next day.

3. Pursue an interest, craft, or learn a new skill. Schedule non-negotiable time in for this endeavor. Make it a priority. If you select an activity that requires concentration, such as learning a new instrument, beading, knitting or pottery or even reading to a young child, you will find your mind is fully engaged and you return to your work with much more energy.

4. Next time you are in transit, put your work away and just people watch. Try to guess about others lives, have a conversation with your cab driver, and stare out the window and just daydream. You will reset your mind, and might learn something new!

5. Plan a “renewal day” during which you self-indulge. Have a massage, manicure, and pedicure, spend two hours in your gym, get a new haircut, a facial or a makeover in a department store, take a tour of a new neighborhood, go for a bike ride. Shop for fall clothes, or just pile up all those things you have been meaning to read that are not work related and stay in bed in the air conditioning. Turn off the phone, don’t check email… just relax. You will be surprised at the feeling of relief.

Risk… Nothing terrible will happen in just one day. Except, maybe your disappointed expectations will dissipate!

I actually took this advice myself. Want to see what I do? Check out http://www.m-l-p.com
and scroll down to the bottom of the page!

Have any other ideas? Let me know what works for you!

Please comment.

Greetings

Thought you might be interested in the two articles below… both of which are yet another call to action for Human Resources.

Of greatest concern in my mind is that many of us–whether we are in-house or HR consultants are focused on the very issues and initiatives outlined by the writers.

Yet, the “press” remains the same.

So, maybe the problem lies not in what we do…

Could the message be that HR needs to do a better job of self-marketing? What more critical element of “business strategy” is there than the people who execute the strategy?

Enough said…

Let me know what you think of the articles:

http://www.fastcompany.com/subscr/97/open_hr.html

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/index.cfm?fa=viewfeature&id=1253

Be well,