Yesterday I was fortunate to participate in an ACPI professionals telephone and web-based meeting on the subject of maximizing your on-line presence through social networking sites. The topic and speaker were organized by Jack Chapman, a very well respected expert in the field of salary negotiation, who invited Shama Hyder, the author of a book called The Zen of Social Media Marketing, which you can find on her web site.

Program participants included active Twitter-ers, avid Facebook “Friends” and highly Linkedin, as well as those who were interested, but hesitant novices. Our expert guide helped us sort through the differences between each of three major social networking vehicles. In the dynamic hour conversation we explored the efficacy and etiquette of on-line identities. And, we shared views on uses, advantages and concerns. As professionals who advise our clients on career issues, we were particularly focused on privacy verses public sharing, and the how to merge commercial and social connections appropriately.

Here are some of Shama’s tips:

Understand the distinctions between and best use of each vehicle.

Facebook is like a coffeehouse where you meet, seek out, connect with, and enjoy your fans, friends and acquaintances. In this context personal stories, requests for advice, congratulations, updates, family pictures and life events and updates are appreciated and expected;

LinkedIn is more of a global business search engine, where participants converse about professional issues, inquire about business solutions and share ideas and trends, join special interest professional groups, get and give business and work leads, provide recommendations, promote your expertise and elicit introductions to other professionals;

Twitter as a global human search engine providing access to immediate information about those you follow. In addition, it has become a resource for real-time news, publicity and even political events. And it is becoming the go-to place for the media to learn real time what is happening around the world.

We had a lively dialogue about what and how much to share on these sites. While everyone has a different sense of what a “friend” is and a varied interest in sharing and reading about daily activities, we all agreed that professional and personal are increasingly intertwined: who you are as a person is important to business associates. While we used to keep these two sides of ourselves totally separate, we now find that family, interests, travel, and avocations add texture to one’s professional impression….and create the differentiation, ongoing real time visibility, engagement and impact critical to business success. Being able to update and inform business associates and personal connections provides efficient and current top of mind awareness and opportunities to interact.

Shama has a wonderful acronym (BOD) to guide us in how we decide whom to connect with, what, how much to share, and the content of our profiles, pictures, notes, comments and twitters.

B-is for brand which should be summed up in a short phrase that is supported and reinforced in each of your communications
O-is for outcome or the value you represent
D- is for differentiation or how you stand out

Bottom line: Social Networking is becoming increasingly important in our personal and professional lives. Be thoughtful and intentional about what you say, pictures you place on your wall, updates you place, comments you make. Don’t put anything on-line you would not want a stranger to know. You want to be consistent with your professional ethics and cautious about attracting attention that might compromise your reputation, image or attract  spam….or even criminal behavior.

Remember, the personal on the internet is public and permanent.

Liking Linking!

All of today, I have been occupied with LinkedIn, FaceBook, texting and emailing to be in touch. I did not have one voice to voice or face to face conversation outside of my interactions with my husband. This is very unusual for me as my work, friends, family and avocations generally bring me in active contact with others. I think about my clients who are finding themselves inter-personally isolated because they work virtually or are in career transition.

Virtual communication gives the satisfaction of immediacy in getting and giving information. You could spend many hours on-line believing that you are nurturing your connections and creating opportunities.

Social and business networks are useful transactions for informing and expanding your “presence”. However, I think that relationships still require commitment, chemistry and context to develop. Online communication…email, twitter, social networks, blogs, while great for sharing information can fool active participants into thinking they are connecting/networking/branding/getting “out there”/getting noticed. Virtual communication, however, is not a substitute for the value of in-person or live voice-to-voice intimacy.

On-line has the advantage of immediacy and the disadvantage of lacking nuance and context. Because it is written, sent and read quickly, it can result in abrupt judgments and replies.

Misunderstandings and misinterpretations cause a great deal of time spent resolving conflict. Just think of the tension that can be avoided by a conversation that requires listening, give and take and clarification. So, I recommend emails, texting, and social networking be used for factual, not emotional or nuanced, messages. When you really need to “talk”, make a date to meet in person, Skype, stop by someone’s office, or pick up the phone.

A really great way to capitalize on any virtual communication is to use it as a supplement rather than a substitute for live human contact. It is great to stay in touch and it is not a replacement for high touch.

Whether in the process of advancing or transitioning, even the “old boy’s network” is networking challenged according to a recent Forbes on line post.  Check out stories and clips of several CEO’s techniques for keeping abreast and in touch through mutual interests, technology, and board and organizational memberships.

Those of you who are in transition and trying to break through to top level leaders are most likely finding that getting a meeting is no longer as simple as grabbing a meal or even a quick cup of coffee.  Time-challenges, information overload and leaders’ immediate demands require some brilliant and creative guerrilla tactics, as mentioned in the April 13th issue of Fortune Magazine,  “How to Find a Job”.

Is face to face networking still viable and necessary or even possible, you may ask.  It is clear that social networking and business on line listings and linking are part of most of our daily interaction.  And, we all know the importance of a strong support system and how critical it is to network before we “need” to.  Many of my clients have defaulted to email, instant messaging, and even twittering to inform or stay in touch.  But these modes do not create the dialogue, context and texture of voice and visual cues so critical for bonding and nuance. The trend toward job seekers’ participation in  self-help groups that replace job fairs or supplement outplacement programs supports the evidence that we all still seek physical contact and face-to-face conversing.
A recent story in the NY Times, “Where Gifts and Stories Are Crucial to Survival,”, truly depicts the magic of personal connections.  The !Kung people, a very primitive culture in Southern Africa, have survived hard times through a structured tradition of caring about each other.  Especially when they are separated for years and great distances, members of this culture demonstrate that they keep others in their hearts by constructing stories and giving gifts….and then personally visiting to make sure the other is aware of the care and concern.
Think about the healing effect of being held in such high esteem that someone else, living at the edge of survival, takes the time to  remember you, seeks you out and reminds you how important you are to them through a shared history or an artifact created in your honor. The gesture of reaching out,  offering something to sooth, inform or support is quite compelling; it can be life saving.

Sometimes, in our modern world we overlook ways that connections of history, community and caring also keep us alive.  We are often so focused on getting things done and what we need from others that we forget about the power of simply showing someone else true consideration. A  simple example  would be to focus on what mutually matters to you and your connections.  Or, think first about their problems, elicit their concerns and then respond with how you might offer to help. These are the elements that bond people together, creating lasting allies and friends.

Recently, I have had the honor of speaking with professional and industry groups about career advancement and transition techniques in this very much changed workplace. In the Q+A, invariably participants express concern about in person networking as an imposition or as appearing to be “begging” for favors.  In response to this reticence, I offer a shift in thinking.  Be like the !Kungs who stay connected through offering something to others in a way that honors them in meaningful and mutual ways with an abiding generosity.
For example, you can be:

Gracious: Always have a specific reason to reach out that will consider their needs  as well as yours.  Act as a thoughtful host, invite your contacts’ opinions, elicit their interests, engage them in interesting dialogue.

Grateful: Demonstrate your appreciation.  When people have taken time to speak with you, and particularly when they have met with you, go beyond the perfunctory thank you note to mention specifically what they did or said that will be helpful. Reminding others of how they helped, will create a desire in them to help you more.

Giving: Think of something that will be helpful to your contacts.  When reading an article, meeting someone, learning of a new tool or idea  that would help your contact personally or professionally, let them know.  Do this without an agenda. Do it just to be thoughtful. Provide value with every encounter.

Generative: Introduce your contacts to each other.  Tell them about other interesting people. Get people who have no time to initiate networking meetings together. Be a relationship magnet.  Have a party and invite people of like interests or industries to share with each other. Brainstorm about professional or industry challenges.  You might solve some…or you might think of a new career direction…or even start a business together!

You can read more about ways to transition, advance and stay effective in recently published Executive Career Guides at:   www.notime4theories.com

I look forward to your feedback on how this works for you.

If you are losing or leaving your job, think carefully before hitting send on that clever, critical or complaining email blast.

Words written hastily can have an unintended and long term impact on your future career moves.
Consider this:  the last thing you do or say is the first thing your contacts and colleagues will remember about you.

Recently, I had the honor of being interviewed on NPR’s morning show “The Takeaway” on the topic of how to write a proper goodbye email when leaving a position. Three different email samples were presented: one edgy and humorous, one trashing the former boss, and one gracious thank you to all former colleagues. You can hear the program on the link above.
While it is tempting to vent and dump in a parting shot, remember that what you wrote can go viral and put  your career into the dumpster!  Emails can remain in the system and follow you many months later after you are over your loss and ready to move on.  A cute comment about wanting to enter a monastery or a negative comment about your former boss can be found and forwarded to a potential employer at the most inopportune moment of your re-entry.
Clearly, elegance is the way to go!

Here are some tips for an elegant exit message:

Open your communication with gratitude for the work you have achieved and years you have had the honor to serve the employer. This is a good place to mention briefly a few of your achievements while there.

Give the basic facts of your departure.  Create a simple business-based (not personal) reason for leaving statement consistent with your former organization’s statement (cut backs, restructuring, redirection, merger, etc).

Provide information about how you can be reached.  Offer to be in touch so you will not unduly burden your former colleagues.

If you don’t know what you will be doing next, resist the impulse to say something that may be misconstrued as lacking professional commitment.  Indicate you are putting some thoughts together about your next career step.

Thank your co-workers.  Remember, they are suffering from a  loss as well.

Above all, keep negative comments and emotion out of your communications.

Before you send your exit email, save it in draft and go back later to review it with the eyes of your most important readers. If in doubt use this measure:  Would you want your content to appear on the front page of The Wall Street Journal?

These steps will enable you to behave in exiting the way you want to be known and remembered:  with dignity and self-worth.

Reinvention seems to be all the rage lately.

Not surprising! So many people in transition begin to look at unmet career desires, career disillusion or poor fit. Job loss often leads to an awareness of what you don’t want, and a belief that some other career/life will offer it.  And for many, the idea of pursuing something very different appears to be more appealing than networking, interviewing and “selling” themselves.
If you are in transition or anticipating one, this may seem a perfect time to consider these questions:

“I wonder what else is out there?”

“Shouldn’t I do something I am passionate about?”

“Is this a good time to go into the not for profit arena and do meaningful work?”

“What other alternatives to my current occupation might I consider?”

Many of my clients over the years have considered reinventing themselves. They spend countless months researching, information interviewing and considering alternatives only to boomerang back to their original occupation. The challenge for them was, never having considered what else they wanted to do, they did not have experience, expertise and exposure needed to move into fields of interest. They found that forging a search with few connections and having to create a compelling “story” was much more challenging and time consuming than they dreamed.

However, the self assessment and exploration was not wasted.  Once having gotten the desire to explore out of their system, some felt more free to re-commit to their original career, refresh their enthusiasm, or redesign their roles or functions more in line with rediscovered interests or needs.  And over time, having taken a position that built on their contacts and capabilities, many of have later been  successful in evolving into their dream occupations without being pressured by needing to re-establish themselves before their severance or savings ran out.  If you are considering reinventing yourself, here are 10 additional questions to consider:

1. If circumstances hadn’t changed in your career, would you be considering reinventing yourself?

2. What are you passionate about, beside your current career?

3. Do you know anyone who has a career you would kill for?

4. What do they do and how did they get there?

5. What did you want to be/do when you were a child? A teen? In college?

6. What caused you to go a different route?

7. What areas of expertise can you leverage in your reinvented life?

8. What can you offer and who needs it?
9. What do you need to learn or develop?

10. How long do you want to spend in exploring, evaluating and emerging reinvented?

Then, when you begin to explore alternatives, be realistic about what trade offs you are willing to make.

Successful re-inventors I have worked with realize that they need to have support systems, financial protection, a strong vision and desire and a courageous commitment to jump into the breach.  They are willing to make sacrifices or embrace a new community, new career identity, new way of living.  They build a platform to change by building connections, filling in the experience gaps, garnering financial support or making necessary adjustments.  Others have been fortunate in getting a retirement package that enabled them to fully assess and explore, develop relationships and visibility through volunteering or interning.  They have the luxury to pursue their dreams, passions or unfinished career business  while maintaining their life styles.

Reinvention is not an alternative to the rigors of job search.  It is an exciting and arduous path. The most secure way to reinvent is to plan and build toward it.

This blog entry is going to be different:  It is co-authored by my colleague and co-writer, Karen Otazo with whom I have just had the great pleasure of launching No Time 4 Theories/Executive Series . We wanted to share with you some lessons learned and insights gained from our collaboration, as we realized that what we have just experienced is the way many of you  all are now, or will be very soon, working.

Karen and I have been collaborating and communicating around professional issues, insights and initiatives for around 5 years.  During one of our many phone discussions, we realized that we shared a lot of views that were not currently written about.  And so, it began as a casual comment, “you know, this could be a great book!”

We began in July to collect our ideas, convert ramblings to outlines and maneuver our way through communication, technology, schedule and “day job” commitments. We found that we actually were living the changes we were writing about.

Our intensity about this collaboration heated up as the economy melted and then froze.  Our clients urgently needed our perspective and expertise to help them navigate the seismic disruption and change they are struggling to understand and manage. And so, we began in earnest in October to put our ideas into a format that would be attractive for our readers.

From that awareness grew an agreement that we wanted to write and publish together in the most modern way:  virtually, technologically and stylistically.  Virtual teams, virtual networking, virtual newspapers, virtual everything led us to create a more-than-virtual writing team.

Here are a few things we learned we wanted to share with you:

Move beyond the traditional and tested ways to match the rhythm and format of your work with the market needs:

We learned from a set of sample reader discussions that we needed to work quickly, efficiently, cost effectively and eliminate all the layers and processes that would hold up the end product. In addition, we focused on a series of guides which would appeal to our busy and diverse executive readers. Finally, we decided to self publish (which would bring the materials to market quickly) and offer our writing on-demand and in e-book format as well.

Gather a team of enthusiastic experts who will work with as much energy and commitment as you do:

We were fortunate in being able to gather together a virtual team that were excited about this new way of working, new media and the topics we were addressing.  When we ended up working through the holidays, which we had tried to avoid, everyone just pitched in and did what needed to be done without complaint.

Identify and work off strengths:

We constantly checked in with each other to make sure that each team member had information or resources and the skills/experience to carry out unexpected assignments.  Some of us were better at content, some at technology, some at process and project management.  We laid out what the next step was and team members volunteered and teamed. Flow ruled!

Marshall creativity and enthusiasm by clarifying roles based on strengths based on project needs, not ego:

One of the biggest challenges of a virtual team is sorting out priorities, resolving senses of urgency, accommodating to different styles (content, timing, process) and being careful to always know who is on first to avoid things being duplicated or falling through the cracks. Emails work for facts, voice and face to face is better for feelings.  Whenever we sensed a sensitivity, we made a call and worked things out.

Communicate BEFORE there is conflict and clarify roles early and often:

There were times we all jumped in and we had to step back to find out who was on first, who had the expertise, who had the time, who had the desire to take the lead.  We took turns being in charge depending on the circumstances and content. At times, we got confused with emails flying and schedules slipping. So, we just helped each other move the project along by identifying the stuck moments with great sensitivity and compassion. It was great to apply our counseling skills with each other!

Give feedback quickly, clearly and often:

Sheryl and I both have spent our entire professional careers encouraging people, giving feedback with care and clarity. So, we were sensitive to and committed about constantly checking in, comparing notes, clearing any misunderstandings, pitching in when the others were busy, being honest about deadlines and accountabilities.  We became adept at trading off and pitching in when our “day jobs” or personal lives required.  We kept our eye on the motto:  don’t explain, don’t complain…just do it or delegate it.  And we had a lot of “Yeah Team” moments!

Use technology wisely and where appropriate for your needs/styles:

Since we’re both great talkers, initially, we tried using Dragon Naturally Speaking (voice recognition software) to record as we discussed our ideas.  Frustrated with the pace of the technology, we moved into having one of us take the lead on a topic, develop a first pass and then used email and phone dialogue, Skype, three way meetings and even face to face time to organize, edit, polish, cut and finalize.

We never could have completed our first two guides without the dynamic and engaged team.  Thanks to:

Nick Kolakowski, our Editor

Mike Bain, our Graphic Designer

Lucio Furlani, our Web Master and more!

Lori Quaranta, our Cheerleader and On Line PR Consultant

Ian Spanier,  our Photographer

Yeah Team!

Happy New Year!

No sooner did we lift our glasses in celebration, than most of us engaged in a discussion with our friends/family or created an internal dialogue about hopes for 2009, regrets about 2008 and resolutions made, kept, failed and planned again.

And then there were the confessions and promises for change this next year despite our 2008 failures. We feel bolstered in the knowledge that many people fess up to mess ups. Even Oprah is featured in news and magazine articles as having put almost all the weight back on that she so publicly and proudly lost.

Changing a habit…particularly one that is pleasurable although destructive….seems to be our yearly challenge, and one that is defeated before we even embark.

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.”— Alexander Woollcott

But this year will be different. This year, Change is the national motto and, frankly, a necessity.

So, taking a phrase from a popular tee shirt:  “Be the Change” is our overriding resolution.

Great idea, we all may be saying….but how?

I am reminded of the “Be Here Now” slogan made popular by Ram Dass in the 1970′s

One idea is to make your change an “in the moment” action rather than a task on your to do list.  Future thinking, procrastination and unmet promises create self-blame and resistance. When you promise and put off, you are living in the future state rather than acting in the present.  This, we are reminded, causes anxiety which saps our energy to act.

“Anxiety is what happens between now and then.  In other words, stay
in the here and now, which is the only reality, …”  Fritz Perls

So, here is a challenge:  Rather than place your desired change sometime in the future as a resolution, a wish, another task on your to do list, why not just do it?

Review your resolutions.  Pick one from the list and think about one action you can do NOW.

Choose a piece of fruit instead of that cookie and you are on your way to losing that weight.

Call your mom, a friend, a business contact instead of feeling badly that you didn’t.

Answer those newsy holiday cards one at a time rather than letting the pile nag you all week.

Want a change?  Act!

Check in with 2010 self every day of 2009.

In almost every conversation, coaching session, professional meeting and holiday gathering lately the word “wait” predominates.  We are all wondering what is next. And we fear what that news or incident will be.
This week’s Science section of the New York Times article called, In Hard Times, Fear Can Impair Decision-Making makes the point clearly:  anxiety that results from intermittent pain, over which you have no control, impedes the ability to think and act.
In contrast, studies of resilience emphasize that there are three basic factors that enable people to sustain themselves during turbulence and overwhelming obstacles:

Control:  the ability to make something happen or manage one’s-self

Commitment:  a purpose, belief or promise that has meaning and importance

Competence: the skills and experience to make something work or happen

Absent of these three survival elements, people either fear, flee or shut down.

If you are waiting…for things to go back to normal, for the market to change, for someone to call, to get a new job, to wake up from this nightmare…realize that your waiting may be increasing your pain.  It becomes a vicious cycle.
William James wisely said:  “Motivation follows Action”

Here are some Action Items to consider that will move you from waiting to winning:

Smile:  Emotions are contagious and you will get smiles back

Act:  Exercise, volunteer, call a friend, do an act of kindness

Learn:  A craft, a language, a new song, a musical instrument

Teach: Someone else something you know

Talk: Live to a real person

Help: Someone who really needs it

And Make it a Great Day for yourself and someone else!

Much is being written about the loss of job security of late.

Recently in a LinkedIn interchange, Jason Alba asked if we need to coin a new term. Here are my thoughts:
If we all realize that we are all, always in transition, then “job security” becomes an anachronism.

How about “work continuity” which involves staying professionally current, maintaining an abiding interest in your functional expertise, and engaging with others continually…helping, supporting, showing a real, ongoing professional commitment.

People who are able to shift with the changes in the marketplace are open to what is on the horizon, discover alternative ways to be employable or marketable, stay connected, and are resilient. They don’t hang on with resentment to what used to be, but are excited about the possible.

The way we use words reflects our internal world, affects our external environment and shifts world-view as well. Snap comments, judgments and reactions can reverberate in unintended ways.

For example, take the word “devastation” related to our economic crisis. Would the impact be the same if we used “disquieting,” “disruptive” or “dissatisfying?” When we complain about our political, financial or personal futures, what messages are we absorbing and expanding? Are we attending to the impact of our words on the listener as we spill out our reactions and conclusions?

In his New Years sermon, Rabbi Peter Rubinstein of Central Synagogue in New York City reminded us of past truly devastating events: the destruction of the Temple, the Civil War, World Wars I and II, the Holocaust. He entreated his congregation to remember its roots: decency, kindness, optimism, friendship, family and faith. He invited each of us to think of one thing we each could do to re-establish our sense of self-worth in the face of our shaken financial wealth.

We each, in our own worlds, can create a sense of control, commitment and competence by consciously choosing how we speak in our own heads and out loud. We have a choice of stemming or spreading the fear and foreboding. We create our moment by moment life by how we think and how we speak.

So, I pass on to you the Rabbi’s suggestion: think of one thing you can do, plan or talk about with your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors that is meaningful/purposeful for you right now. Choose something small, and within your control, an activity or relationship you may have put aside in the interest of forwarding your career.

Every day, practice considering what you say, how you frame your current view of our changing world. Think about ways you can revise your perspective in light of what you have and can build rather than what you have lost.

A conscious, positive shift will influence the responses you get and create a cycle of hope to replace what is becoming a national cyclone of fear.